Ode to 1:20p.m.

I have not been able to fall back asleep since the little one woke me at
5am this morning. This WILL be the longest day ever. Luckily, today is
Ryan's 2nd birthday.

Maybe this is the only way I can have the time and focus to jot something
down while no one else is awake. Lucky @#$%$^'s.



Having done this same type of letter last year, I can say it has been such a different ride. I am not sure what it is about THE first year of your firstborn, but whoah, that was nuts!!! I have never felt more out of whack than I did that year. Luckily, it's like a badge, I wear it with great pride and chalk it up to lessons well-learned. Dude, now I am a pro, right? Ha. Yes, I do feel I have embraced the joys and perks of having one child. Wait, you say it totally changes when you add another? Ya, right. (Dear God, please help me out with that one.) My point is, this past year has been filled with more focus on Ryan, than me, which has been completely satisfying.



I have said before the most "ideal" months with Ryan were from 9 months through 15 months. Those times were just sooo quaint. He was learning to be so independent, which I loved, and was able to explore his little world he had yet to truly know. Once the 15 month mark came and he was able to CLIMB up onto everything was when I said, OH NOOOOOO, you mean now he could actually HURT himself if I turn my back for one second? It definitely added a whole other element into the mix. Looking back, each month, each milestone was more precious than the one before.



There is something about that kid, I tell you. He is one of a kind. He amazes me everyday with his thirst for life and determination. He entertains strangers in stores by asking for high-fives. He says goodbye to every checkout person he sees whether we are ready to go or not. He calls out every number or letter he sees, no matter how far. He loves to read or have someone read to him the same 4 Curious George books all day and all night. He loves to line up his cars and his trucks in traffic jam type situations which is quite hilarious and somewhat meticulous. He calls every train he has "thomas", but he has never seen the cartoon. He could care less what is on the tv, but if I mention his signing video, he immediately runs to the couch and buries himself under the blanket ready for the show to begin. He loves to hear his daddy play guitar. He even loves to strum a few strings himself. Nothing compares to his desire to dance a jig every time the boy is naked. I sing a few bars of some little ditty and off he goes into his hoedown.
Everyday is something new and I would have it no other way.

Having Ryan in my life has made me so aware of who I am and who I want to be. I recognize my strengths and am definitely in touch with my weaknesses. I envelope that knowledge and only strive to be a better person for it. I am amazed at how detached some people are to the "bigger picture". This truth is what it is about. This truth is what matters most. Everything we all focus on, agonize over, mean absolutely nothing. I have made such strides in truly getting it. Now, what needs to happen is I need to live by this truth in myself everyday. I thank my son Ryan for leading the way to this discovery. I am truly grateful for this gift.

Happy Birthday Ryan. You and your daddy are the loves of my life.




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